Oh, winter...

2012 has already come with a few unpleasant changes.

We're all struggling with our own shit. I know, trust me. Entering into this year with both my dance troupes nearly (if not temporarily) dissolving was not a good feeling. As of right now, Lux Arati is minus yet another person and The Penny Treats are, at the moment, taking an extended break. Standstill is a good word.

My house is a mess, leftover from the recently departed holiday season, and I still have presents to finish making and send off/give away. It's cold as balls outside, and I slept for 12+ hours last night (post NYE recovery after going straight back into working on the 2nd.) My dear friend is gone, for the time being, "getting better" and I don't really know what to think.

Do I hit the ground running, start deep-cleaning my abode to help make myself feel better about life? Do I watch TV and smoke pot all day, allowing myself to "relax"? Do I forget the mess, get some coffee (solo cause I can't find anyone to hang out with me) and finish up my crafts so I can at least send a belated Xmas box to my family in Florida?? Do I clean up enough to watch and work out to my new DVDs, letting the natural endorphins from exercise and movement make my brain feel better...? Or will I sit on the computer for an indefinite amount of time, fucking around, trying to distract myself from this terrible winter, this cold-weather depression, this dark cloud looming over what was supposed to feel like a much better year ahead?

I don't have a good solution or answer at the moment. I don't really have a plan, either, except to make tomorrow a better day. I like working, it distracts me and gets me out of the house, forcing my day to start at dawn even though I never ever want to get out of my warm bed into a freezing house while it's still dark out.

I don't know what this new year will bring, but I pray it gets better.