Drowning...

As I sit here I am trying to isolate and flex my stomach muscles. Yes. I actually practice far less for every dance thing I am involved with than I should - however lately I have been really trying to be good. Be good with work, be good with art, waste less time, practice more, devote more time and effort to things I enjoy and want to excel at, want to improve at, need to work at, desire to get better at. It's sort of working.





I just had a moment, working on my story and listening to an old mix, and posted this video on facebook. So I'll share it with whoever is stumbling upon this and let you know - please realize this was a deep seeded, intense favorite song of mine for quite awhile. I have many, of course, but this one hit the cord for some terribly long, terribly intense part of my life so far. And I bet you probably think it sucks, or it's nothing special. It's not really, just a song, just a song that was there, that meant something, that someone put together once and some guy played out and some other guy recorded it and then it ended up in my music library and then I played it obsessively...

The weirdest thing is that even with drum n bass, once my most favorite electronic genre (and probably still) - I can appreciate everything about that track, including the diva-blues-ey vocals, which in house music sometimes are too much and turn me off. Beautiful voices are always good. Specific genre beautiful voices are only good when they're really good - and this one is really good? I don't even make sense to myself, don't worry. The point is, it's an important track to my "Life Soundtrack." Everyone has to have a "Life Soundtrack." Don't you? If you don't, try thinking about it once in awhile - what songs would be playing at certain points in your day, your life in general. If someone was making a movie of my life, and I got to pick the music.... (carry on.)

As someone who spent a great deal of time, at least in college, making films and videos, this is something that you start thinking about. Once you have to bring that dimension to life, you either need to create a physical, real world soundtrack - recorded sounds, footsteps, cars going by, voices in the foreground or background, phones ringing - whatever is there, should be there, would be there if you want your viewer to be there - you have to create this, you have to make it believable. It's half your "movie", and it's just important as your images. (While plenty may agree, this is also just my opinion. As usual.)

****

And you know what else? With the exception of my bellydance ladies, all of those people who are *suddenly* picking up fire fans and wielding them around like they know what they are doing after 2 weeks - excuse me, can go fuck themselves. Like any other tool they take time and practice. Please don't disregard the rest of us and our hard work by making it seem insignificant. Thank you.

Free Will

My horoscope for this week from Free Will Astrology. (This is the only one I read. Sometimes, of course, it seems totally off - but more often than not it is something I at least recognize as eerily relevant to my life. You should have seen the ones around the time I met my husband. It was ridiculously on and in retrospect, kind of creepy.)

"In the absence of clearly-defined goals," said Cancerian writer Robert Heinlein, "we become strangely loyal to performing daily trivia until ultimately we become enslaved by it." If this description is even a partial match for the life you're living, now is an excellent time to address the problem. You have far more power than usual to identify and define worthy goals -- both the short-term and long-term variety. If you take advantage of this opportunity, you will find a better use for the energy that's currently locked up in your enslavement to daily trivia.

At this point in my life, (and this has never ever been the case before) I find myself less of a slave to time. ( "Don't be a slave to time...man..." - I'll give you a dollar if you know what movie that's from. It's one of my favorites. ) My jobs hold different weekly hours, for small or different amounts of time. I'm not in school, so I don't have to show up at a certain class at the same obnoxious hour every week. I have some routines, but I'm still struggling to hold true to the ones involving work, even if it's art. I should, I think, be sitting down and scheduling art work time like it's the real job I want it to be. I mean, yea - sometimes I'm just not feeling it, but more often I just waste time ON THE INTERNET or doing whatever else where I could probably be more personally productive. Since I'm here doing housework (laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning) sometimes takes a priority to more fun stuff since I feel obligated to take care of it, being here all the time as I am. (That would be guilt coming through. Sigh. Yes.) So maybe that shit is my "daily trivia" and I need to put my energy when I'm not at real work to better use.

So, don't be a slave to time. Man. That's today's lesson.

Trash Soup

Trash Soup (aka homemade vegetable stock)

Ingredients: leftover onion peels, carrot tops, parsley sprigs, celery ends, garlic peels, potato peels, apple cores, egg shells (they leach calcium into the stock), almost anything that would be good in a soup/compost (all rinsed of dirt and debris)
(Veggies to avoid: bell peppers, broccoli, citrus, tomatoes, eggplant...)

fresh or dried herbs, spices (bay leaf, dried rosemary/basil/thyme/whatever)

salt/pepper (to taste)

water

tupperware containers or plastic freezer bags for storage

Instructions:

In the weeks prior to making your Trash Soup, save and freeze your end pieces in a bag in the freezer (like onion peels, carrot tops - not the green part though, potato peels, parsley/herb stalks -very nutritious, apple cores, egg shells, etc. Avoid anything that has gone bad or is browning, and the veggies mentioned above. Pretty much anything that would normally go in a soup or is okay to boil forever without a weird taste - broccoli and peppers I hear turn bitter after awhile, and I generally avoid anything that's sort of "soft", too, like eggplant or tomatoes.)

Once you have amassed a large quantity of frozen veggie "trash", find the biggest stock pot you own and fill it with water. If your veggie pieces aren't clean, make sure to rinse them off well. Add your veggie "trash" to boiling water, along with spices, herbs, salt/pepper. Feel free to add more fresh vegetables to the stock if you'd like - sometimes I throw in some extra cloves of garlic, or if anything is about to go bad in my fridge and would be okay to use for stock, but not so great to eat fresh.

Boil your Trash Soup for as long as possible, at least 4+ hours. (Feel free to do it all day long if you can, or save it in the fridge covered and boil it again the next day.) The water should be colored a nice rich brown at this point. Strain out the broth, saving the liquid in a separate pot. At this point you can throw away the boiled veggie trash or save it for compost. Sometimes I put it right back in the freezer in the original freezer bags to avoid it stinking up my trash until trash day.

You can now use your delicious, cheap, homemade veggie broth (TRASH SOUP!) to make anything! Boil your taters in it for mashed potatoes, or make soups or sauces of all kinds. It will be better tasting than anything you can buy at the store, I guarantee you. Store in tupperware or heavy duty plastic bags in the freezer until ready to use.

WAA-LAA! Bon appetit.

You know you got fire

I've been neglecting my alt-blog. It's not because I don't have anything to say, or that there is nothing going on. Those topics just seem to fit better in my other blog or nowhere public. So, I will share with you some most excellent shots taken a couple weekends ago by the husband/fiance's of The Penny Treats - which are now on Facebook, so like us - and there should be a website too, coming soon. We also made some kick ass business cards last minute for a performance last Thursday night. Enjoy.

Business card front

Business card back

Okay - and I know hardly anyone knows about this blog or even reads it - but HELP - I need a burlesque stage name! My "porn star" name (first pet and street that you grew up on) is "Coco Obispo", which I think is pretty damn rad - but don't know how much it actually has to do with me. I like "Coco" - and then otherwise, I'm just not sure. Should it have to do with "Xtina" in some way? Or should it just be random and fun? I'm stuck. If anyone is reading, please help!

XO

***Techno Nerd 4 Eva***

{JUNGLE}

Yes, I admit - I loved electronic music before it was everywhere and everything, dubstep before it was in a Brittany Spears song, electro before the hipsters took it over and added crappy lyrics and indie-band fusion turned TV-commercial remixes. My musical tastes developed from grunge and rock in the early 90's (middle school, early high school) to 80's EDM and industrial (The Cure, Marilyn Manson - I had a goth phase) and drove full speed ahead into drum n bass and jungle -and everything else on my massive, massive hard drive of music that exists today. (Combining libraries with my husband has made the grand total 10,585 songs, 66.87 gigs of music that would play for 67 days straight without repeating a track. ) I like to think I have something for everyone. I grew up listening to jazz because my dad was a jazz drummer, and played with bands in nightclubs when he was going to college. Strangely, I ended up marrying a guy who plays the saxophone(... although not as often as I'd like. Poke, poke. ) Thanks to my Miami upbringing, I have an affinity for Afro-Cuban beats and salsa, and love anything with hand drums or the didgeridoo - (which my husband also plays, which is phenomenal since I'm pretty sure it's my favorite instrument.)

As I drove home into the city this afternoon on 76 - always a lovely experience, I might add [insert sarcasm here] - I dug through my very limited car musical options, selecting a mix CD I made years ago entitled "Glitter Techno." (I am maybe the last person alive without an mp3 player. I'm okay with it.) I know that it's dorky, but it is still sooo good. And when I came across the track that inspired the title to my book-in-progress and now, this blog, I thought I had to share it. I hope you enjoy this. I think technically the track is in the trance genre, which everyone loves to make fun of - but hey, some of it is really good! Like every other music genre, the general populous can only think of 10,000 horrible examples and never hear any of the good stuff - once upon a time it was all hidden away on some rare EP within a DJ's massive vinyl collection, and now it's all on YouTube. (What did we do before the internet?)

FIRE and the issue of personal responsibility

The first time I lit up fire fans, late night during a camping retreat
organized by the first group I performed with. (photo by Vinny Gasper)
Note: I was also not very sober, but I was being very safe, had a small army
of friends ready with fire blankets, and it was an amazing first burn.

Just the fact that there is a "fire scene" at all in my city is kind of annoying. There are enough assholes as it is here - we don't need an unusually high number of said assholes also thinking they're hot shit by lighting a bunch of things on fire. Unless it's been an event sponsored by a group I'm involved in, I have a tendency to not want to participate in, as well as actively avoid, things like spin jams on the other-fucking-side of Philadelphia. I guess it's also true that with the amount of time I have spent rehearsing actual planned, choreographed fire performances, the last thing I want to go to in my free time is somewhere to spin more fire.

There I am again, getting all high and mighty on my big flaming horse. Want to know what tipped me off? A post in a Facebook group that someone added me into (gotta love social media) by an old housemate of mine. It wasn't even recent - but it involves fire spin jams, and it's been winter - so it was still right there. Right there under my nose, waiting four months to annoy the crap out of me.

I even hate the word "spin jam" - it kind of reminds me of the word "jam band" and I kind of hate it like I used to hate the word "blog." (I have since reconciled with "blog" - as you can see, I have two and I'm currently writing in one. It must be o.k.) Maybe you don't know what that is, a spin jam. Let me enlighten you. (Your life will change forever.)

No, it won't. I lied. At it's best, a spin jam is an enjoyable gathering, generally at a park in nice weather, where groups of fire spinners can come together and take turns lighting up in front of their peers. It's practice, and a social event, and a place where people can learn, ask questions, try new things, and so on. This is of course not always exactly how these things pan out, but that's the general idea. Fire, while I appear to be somewhat blase, is a very dangerous, and very exciting medium to work with - and it is not for everyone. Like any "underground" activity, it attracts a strange breed - and an interesting mixture - of "burners", performers, artists, musicians, and all their friends - and on, and on. I could go on forever, (and the thought of that kind of makes me want to vomit.)

These events apparently happen often enough in Philly to warrant a Facebook group with 123 members.

I'm personally friends with a significant number of these members. I tried to find an exact number, but to no avail. I know almost every single one of the 9 administrators, and I'm decent friends with the majority of them. Despite my self-admitted weird fire issues (more to do with social anxiety than the actual medium) I love it - I love that I stumbled upon this beautiful world of avant-garde performing, I love that it thrives here so easily, and I love that I have SO many extremely talented friends to work with.

I'm also very quietly full of opinions, and that's why I created this outlet. I don't really have any enemies, or people that hate me (I think.) I try and be really nice to everyone I meet, and even with ex-housemates, the beef is more to do with respect for my friend and landlord than personal one-on-one problems. (I also had a kind of terrible experience working closely with them, and think their entertainment/nightlife promo "business" is frankly, a joke.) They have also engaged in what I consider bad business etiquette, with a spotty history of underpaying performers at their gigs (or not paying them at all.)

That aside, I just very much dislike generalized restrictions on personal freedoms in public arenas due to someone else deciding it falls under the veil of "disrespect."

"Hey everyone. How about we do Wednesdays AND Sundays every week? (until it gets too cold). For some people, weekends are better. For those who have been actively setting up these jams for the past few months, Wednesdays are preferred. We don't all know the same fire spinners. We don't all have the same schedules. I wan...t to practice as much as possible. SO, if one day works for you, great. If both work for you, even better. More fire! I would just like to ask that everyone who attends these jams please be respectful, do not drink alcohol, do not bring/do drugs, do bring fuel & duvys, AND be experienced in fire safety. If you do not understand fire safety, find someone to teach you. Today and tomorrow are looking rainy, hopefully I'll be spinning with you all soon. ♥"

The preceding post, dated back in September (users name withheld) is the reason why I started this in the first place - because while I agree (of fucking course) that if you're fucked up, you shouldn't be doing a lot of things (and one of those is spinning fire) - but to go so far as explicitly prohibit harmless recreational enjoyment in a culture that is known for its tolerance and acceptance just seems wrong. "Please be respectful..." to.... you? If I drink a beer and then I spin fire, I am being disrespectful to... you? Would it be MORE disrespectful if I perhaps, accidentally flung my lit fire fans toward your ponytail? I want to point out also that I am not condoning getting wasted and spinning fire - that is irresponsible and dangerous, and retarded to boot. It's like partying all night and then getting behind the wheel of a car thinking you're sober enough to drive. I'm irritated with the idea that someone with no real authority* feels the need to make a self-righteous, generalized assumption in a public group forum about what they consider "respectful." This recommendation is coming from one individual, and is grossly exaggerated. This is not about babysitting - the people involved are adults. Personal responsibility is everything in this kind of situation, and not to diminish the importance of safe and responsible fire spinning - but lay off, bitch.

(I'm attacking this because I have a bias against this person, it's true. I fully admit that I, for many reasons, have longstanding personal beef and I'm dragging this into the equation. BUT - I'm still annoyed and this is my fucking blog, so get over it. ) (*If you can call being a group page administrator authority on the subject, then I take it back.)

I understand that this cautionary request doesn't necessarily come from a bad place. We as a community of artists need to maintain respect from the authorities (police, fire department) and as a whole, ensure that any avenue used to display or practice our craft is as safe as possible. Yes - absolutely. Safety first. Always... however, if you, the individual, can't determine yourself what your limits are, you shouldn't be engaging in whatever activity you're doing in the first place. If you're the type of person who smokes a joint and then suddenly their basic motor skills are rendered useless and complex motor skills (as in spinning fire) are totally out the window - then maybe you a) shouldn't be smoking pot and b) shouldn't be spinning fire.

Just sayin'.

The Penny Treats performance at PEX Heartburn V

Heartburn is my favorite PEX party of the year, besides Summer Fest. It's Valentine's day weekend, and this year it was in a giant, decorated warehouse space (as it should be) - a "secret location", where hundreds of beautiful people dance the night away.

This year I performed as part of the Penny Treats, a spin-off of a number we developed as part of Scorch for our performances at the PEX Summer Festival and the Philly Fringe Festival. We were asked to perform for this party, but at first since our original routine included a whole fire eating/skin transfer second half, we didn't think we were going to be able to do it. (There is no fire allowed inside the venue, only on the loading dock.) Somehow my dear friend Laura (aka Lady J) and I bucked up and rewrote the entire second half of the routine less than a week before the show. Here is the result! I hope you enjoy it. (Beware - NSFW, there are tassled tatas at the end.)